you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
