How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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