Texts From Last Night

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  (801): View more from Utah

  hey, what are you doing tonight?

  (646): View more from New York

  sleeping, g'night!

  (801): View more from Utah

  but i wanted to see you :(

  (646): View more from New York

  sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!

  (646): View more from New York

  stop - you have a right hand - use it!

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  (801): hey, what are you doing tonight? (646): sleeping, g'night! (801): but i wanted to see you :( (646): sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you! (646): stop - you have a right hand - use it! http://tfl.nu/aj8r
  Replies (10) Good night (884) Bad night (1479)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.

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  (443): The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion. http://tfl.nu/57n6
  Replies (31) Good night (652) Bad night (4596)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?

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  (540): Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them? http://tfl.nu/3pc1
  Replies (16) Good night (1309) Bad night (4571)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.

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  (516): Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects. http://tfl.nu/hkn5
  Replies (48) Good night (742) Bad night (5308)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?

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  (757): Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode? http://tfl.nu/1peu
  Replies (15) Good night (5102) Bad night (1234)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light

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  (734): i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light http://tfl.nu/t30l
  Replies (11) Good night (2631) Bad night (3392)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.

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  (630): Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box. http://tfl.nu/2fsf
  Replies (23) Good night (6854) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels

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  (613): you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels http://tfl.nu/5vyu
  Replies (11) Good night (1359) Bad night (3867)
• Favorite

  (551): View more from New Jersey

  Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me

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  (551): Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me http://tfl.nu/723s
  Replies (9) Good night (886) Bad night (1686)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.

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  (615): The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror. http://tfl.nu/nl5c
  Replies (5) Good night (1387) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?

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  (978): The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up... (978): Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis? http://tfl.nu/mb06
  Replies (12) Good night (1631) Bad night (3562)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store

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  (678): My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store http://tfl.nu/soqr
  Replies (7) Good night (992) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"

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  (864): I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY" http://tfl.nu/isd1
  Replies (7) Good night (1842) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.

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  (202): I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects. http://tfl.nu/vyxz
  Replies (2) Good night (738) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.

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  (716): Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package. http://tfl.nu/axq4
  Replies (3) Good night (983) Bad night (219)

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