I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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