Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
