Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts

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  (586): I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts http://tfl.nu/hmun
  Replies (3) Good night (1477) Bad night (678)
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  (619): View more from California

  There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.

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  (619): There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie. http://tfl.nu/om3k
  Replies (31) Good night (943) Bad night (3657)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese

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  (208): Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese http://tfl.nu/a9is
  Replies (4) Good night (4828) Bad night (1100)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?

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  (607): Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be? http://tfl.nu/nsuv
  Replies (31) Good night (3143) Bad night (945)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.

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  (630): Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight. http://tfl.nu/jrv5
  Replies (7) Good night (4536) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter

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  (616): they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter http://tfl.nu/a4jz
  Replies (30) Good night (5530) Bad night (1538)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.

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  (585): We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling. http://tfl.nu/9r51
  Replies (4) Good night (2079) Bad night (840)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame

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  (618): thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame http://tfl.nu/q9yu
  Replies (5) Good night (1974) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (779): View more from Illinois

  I smell like gasoline and adventure.

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  (779): I smell like gasoline and adventure. http://tfl.nu/rkdf
  Replies (18) Good night (2667) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.

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  (724): I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over. http://tfl.nu/3u0b
  Replies (7) Good night (1603) Bad night (672)
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  (693): View more from

  You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml

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  (693): You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml http://tfl.nu/qfop
  Replies (4) Good night (420) Bad night (597)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car

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  (201): I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car http://tfl.nu/h2al
  Replies (11) Good night (602) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Still. Make it happen

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  (215): Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both" (1-215): Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen. (1-215): Still. Make it happen http://tfl.nu/b78c
  Replies (3) Good night (820) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.

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  (727): Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner. http://tfl.nu/20ik
  Replies (0) Good night (377) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good

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  (630): And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good http://tfl.nu/vo3g
  Replies (1) Good night (371) Bad night (174)

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