Texts From Last Night

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  (779): View more from Illinois

  Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.

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  (779): Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me. http://tfl.nu/6ngm
  Replies (6) Good night (2919) Bad night (787)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I think I sharted a yagerbomb.

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  (502): I think I sharted a yagerbomb. http://tfl.nu/xi3d
  Replies (15) Good night (761) Bad night (3646)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.

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  (734): You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom. http://tfl.nu/aenv
  Replies (34) Good night (3777) Bad night (1304)
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  (415): View more from California

  Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok

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  (415): Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok http://tfl.nu/rrpn
  Replies (37) Good night (7299) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.

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  (415): You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can. http://tfl.nu/e8s7
  Replies (5) Good night (1787) Bad night (2077)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.

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  (847): I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it. http://tfl.nu/gdcc
  Replies (20) Good night (4404) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts

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  (256): 2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts http://tfl.nu/zqnp
  Replies (8) Good night (1316) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  He's only going to be gone for two weeks

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  That's two months in gay whore years.

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  (314): He's only going to be gone for two weeks (1-314): That's two months in gay whore years. http://tfl.nu/9nuw
  Replies (3) Good night (1255) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking

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  (503): ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking http://tfl.nu/1308
  Replies (6) Good night (1430) Bad night (462)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.

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  (406): He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die. http://tfl.nu/b33e
  Replies (3) Good night (871) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.

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  (612): 4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break. http://tfl.nu/kp6i
  Replies (3) Good night (799) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  You sure know how to make a day worth living.

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  (616): i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed. (1-616): You sure know how to make a day worth living. http://tfl.nu/maop
  Replies (4) Good night (861) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!

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  (561): I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE! http://tfl.nu/qqyw
  Replies (6) Good night (826) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.

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  (520): That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you. http://tfl.nu/jnah
  Replies (1) Good night (537) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.

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  (417): You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc. http://tfl.nu/r22c
  Replies (1) Good night (524) Bad night (164)

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