Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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