Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You were trust falling into bushes
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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