I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
