wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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