Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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