So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
