i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize