you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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