Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
