if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
