so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
