This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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