She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize