I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
