No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
