You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
