end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
