we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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