I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
