My brain says no but my pants say off.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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