please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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