can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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