We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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