he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
