so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
