It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
