It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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