so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
