"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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