So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i came on her dog
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
