i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
