Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Congratulations! We have a period
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