Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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