Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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