Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
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She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a shit load of segways right now
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize