whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
