I hope mine doesn't look like that
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
