Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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