Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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