just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
