So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i used baking grease as lip gloss
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
