I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize