woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
