just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
