Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
