Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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