i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
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