Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
