you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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