he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize