you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
