nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
