Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize