What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the day after is always just damage control
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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