ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
