And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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