I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
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Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
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Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
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