You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
