New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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